on love language
do you know that we speak 4 common languages?
「but the only language i wanna speak is your love language」
but after all, the only thing we spoke was english,
and i don’t really speak math and chemistry,
other than you are made by copper and tellurium,
or five, two, and zero.
you can be nice to everyone because you are kind;
but i only want to be nice to you because in my world
you shine so bright that
when you smile
my heart melts, yet
i still saw emptiness behind those eyes.
you put your earphones on for the noise cancellation,
but i put mine to play the music you listen.
i’d never want to have you
if you do not feel loved by my existence;
hell you know what
i will push you away so hard that
even numbers and words
cannot measure the distance between us.
they say great thinker rises in solitude,
that’s why i would rather be alone
because when i am with you
i fall so hard.
behind every “you’re so boring”
is “but so calm that i can just let my guard down and take a breather without thinking how to fake the next smile to the others and i just want to tell you all the things that happened before this moment all the way till the moment when i first had memory and hope you’d find that little girl who has been longing to be loved yet that makes me feel so selfish and you found her,”
and now she has to hide better.
i stopped writing for 6 years and never thought
i would come back feeling
10 times better,
less broken,
and more loved.
it doesn’t really matter,
all the little things you do;
it’s you, that makes a difference.
though others might take it for granted,
i would cherish each and every of those little moments.
what i am trying to say is
just be you,
because everyone else is taken.
and when i said i love you,
there was no need for a reason.
if great poets rise in misery,
then i can’t write a single word.
for i can’t write one that is not about you,
and i still feel happy,
thinking about our memory;
even when it hurts.
my friends said i was so in love that
i made sad songs sound so sweet;
now even sweet songs make me weep.
(update: no, even sweet songs still make me happy)
