on placing bet
“some things i cannot change,
but ‘til i try, i’ll never know.”
never have i ever thought that
liking you works so much better than my pre-workout.
they said you are a huge red flag,
and it reminds me of Taylor Swift’s
“but loving him was red.”
you are not someone
who is not too close but not too strange;
for some reason
when i am next to you,
it feels oddly safe.
: do you drink?
: sometimes.
: do you smoke?
:no.
: do you gamble?
: it depends.
cool.
i don’t drink, i don’t smoke;
but i’ll place my bets and all in on you.
even villains deserve to be loved too,
let alone this precious you.
「something has changed within me
something is not the same
i'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game
too late for second-guessing
too late to go back to sleep
it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap
…
i'm through accepting limits
’cause someone says they're so
some things i cannot change, but 'til i try, i'll never know」— Defying Gravity, Wicked
of all the questions that i listed,
i forgot to ask you the one that is the most important:
are you really happy,
or are you just barely hanging?
i don’t care if others are doing the same thing as you do;
because among the lonely crowd all i can see is you.
they told me you can’t possibly be that busy,
it is all about priority;
i know, i know,
i’m not that stupid.
but what was i supposed to do,
because i really, really missed you.
so i did what i could,
which was see you in person.
i know i was childish, selfish, and reckless;
but at least i got to see you,
and that was all i asked for.
they said i deserve so much more,
and don’t settle for the bare minimum;
i know, i know, all along.
but i love you so much
that i was slowly losing control.
though you seem like you will never know,
i would still go for it if time reversed.
for it was just me,
who fell for you after all.
: can i continue loving you?
「i wasn’t really asking you, i was asking myself if i should continue loving you: if it will hurt like before, if it will drain me like before, if it will affect my life and my mood at all. yet everything just gets resolved when i see you, even though it’s not long. to like is a feeling, to love is a choice; and we will never know how it turns out until we try.」
: it’s not healthy for you.
「well, you’re wrong. because of you, that little girl finally has hope.」
